You Suck at Drinking Espresso
You're not great at drinking espresso, and that's okay—most people aren't either. If you're reading this, I'm willing to bet you're a coffee drinker, bordering on coffee enthusiast. More specifically, you probably own a machine and have carved out a section of your precious countertop space next to the air fryer. Sound familiar?
This is where the commonalities of some upper-middle-class households start to diverge when it comes to caffeination. On one end of the spectrum, the morning coffee consists of a Nespresso pod and some milk in the same tumbler that's been beaten around for years. On the other, it's a carefully constructed oat milk lavender latte with a fancy leaf design on the foam. Yet both of these individuals have their own opinions about what defines a "good coffee" and are expected to agree on the same thing being offered at the supermarket.
My fellow American, the best coffee isn't the strongest or darkest roast you can find. I'm sure during your recent trip to Italy, you tried some of the "best espresso you've ever had" and are trying to chase that high. There is an article discussing that in an entirely separate discussion currently in the works. By North American coffee standards, you unfortunately were drinking from the bottom of the barrel and would have much better luck with a scoop of Folgers than a portafilter. Either spend the time to learn the science or buy a super-automatic machine and gush about it to your colleagues. Cafes will never make sense to you since that $7 latte isn't paying the majority of the bills—it's the pastries.
As for my home barista friends who have bought every accessory and added just about every intermediate step to your puck prep, let's talk. While having that level of control creates a pseudoscientific appeal to caffeinating yourself, I rarely hear of those same "scientists" using refractometers on a daily basis. The modern coffee enthusiast is more likely a college student who bought a Chemex and feels like they're saving the world by buying single-origin coffee from a mid-sized local roaster. In some fringe cases, they end up buying an espresso machine on a budget because they work part-time at a local cafe, to which I'm happy to say, "How's that PID mod going on your Gaggia?"
Lance Hendrick and James Hoffmann are great references for information to get started, but there's an inflection point at which they make marginally less sense the more you watch. Every person has their opinion and perspective of what constitutes "good" in their book. When you discuss espresso, I implore you to use your brain and your taste buds to string along more than writing it off as strong or weak. For my enthusiasts, just remember you're within the 1% of coffee drinkers in the world, and we have more to gain by educating than marginalizing others from our porcelain thrones.
